Monday, May 14, 2012

The Love-Hate Relationship

May 11 : Pageviews 84
May 12: Pageviews 70
May 13: Pageviews 112
May 14: Pageviews 99

Today is the 15th May. We have only 351 days left. I was just scrolling through the stats. We got 365 pageviews in the last 4 days. Who are these people visiting this blog? The blog has only 17 followers and no one really comments here. these must be some random traffic coming in after the popular tags I've used in the previous posts. This traffic has no impacts on the fundraising process at all. By now, I am sure that no one takes this blog seriously. Actually they are right and they should not give a damn. If the film does not release in time it's not going to affect anyone except us. So you better go, by yourself a beer and never come back to this blog. If you ever feel like coming back ask yourself , have you done anything for this film yet! Don't say that you don't know what to do, we have posted often about it. Here is the umpteenth post, the complete thing


                             "No Traditional Producers!
                                   No Traditional Distributors!
                                  This is your film!
                                 Step Forward, Get Involved!
                                Share, Donate, Make It Happen!"

well, but who the hell am I talking to? No one has read the post this far. They must have closed the tab and went back to google or yahoo or facebook or whatever! Who cares! All I can see is that I'm getting to sleep 3 hours a day for quite a time. Why am I doing all these fucking talk-talk? I think I should have joined a production house and chopped bloody soap operas! I wanted to serve someone, a group of people maybe. That way I could have served the mega watchers and made some money. But this pain in my stupid ass, I really don't know the source of it, has made me do idiotic things since I was 17. No one is a fucking producer here. Who's going to do what if I don't write this post today? Even one person with "proper intellectual nutrition" is not going to send us a rupee for this post. No one is reading this blog I know. And if you are reading you are certainly a ghost as this act of yours does not make an impact on any goddamn thing on earth. If not a ghost, you are not an alive thing at least. Things move, things do things to make a difference when they are alive. For instance, fucking me! Writing a long long bloody post for god knows what! Am I using the f-words too much? Oh God, look at the post's title! I was supposed to write something else here! Something like how much I love you and how it makes me get mad at you. You know, I used to be a writer and all that I write now are blogposts to convince people to contribute their hard-earned money. It feels like being an insurance agent! Why do I need to make this film? Can't I just kick my ass, accept that I have wasted seven invaluable years of my life for just nothing and try to find me a better job? The problem, as I see it, is that I can cheat on you (if you really exist) but I can't cheat on myself. But why can' I while everyone is doing it? Am I trying to be a messiah? Am I a megalomaniac who thinks that the sole purpose of his life is to save the world and the poor souls that dwell here?

I'm fucking tired (if not a fucking retard) and I need to sleep.

I should have titled this post "On Contradiction"!

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